Sometimes, life throws curveballs we just aren’t expecting.
Have you ever been there?
You have a plan. You’re going about your days with a reasonable understanding of what to expect. Things are comfortable (at least for the most part.) And then, something happens that changes the image you thought had of your life.
These changes could involve:
- Unplanned pregnancy
- Losing a job or a sudden and unexpected role change
- The loss of a loved one
- New medical diagnoses
Unexpected life transitions have a way of making life feel as though it has been turned upside down. Now things are different and, although you weren’t prepared, you’ve found yourself navigating a new season of transition and change.
Transition is hard enough when you have time to mentally (not to mention practically) prepare for the changes ahead of time. Ideally, we would always have some forward notice in order to properly prepare ourselves for change.
However, life doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes, life surprises us and we have to find a way to cope with unexpected and unplanned transitions.
But how?
How do you cope with changes you weren’t prepared to experience? How do you find your footing when it feels like you’re drowning in a sea of “new?”
If you’ve found yourself in this position, here are a few key principles to keep in mind:
- Set realistic expectations.
You’ve been caught off guard and you’re trying to catch up. Adjusting to change is a process that doesn’t happen overnight. When one aspect of your life is changing, everything about your life is impacted by default.
It’s important in these seasons to have realistic expectations for yourself (and others) during the transition. Don’t expect more of yourself than is realistically possible for you to manage.
For example, if you unexpectedly lose your job, setting an expectation that you will find a new job by the end of the week probably isn’t realistic or entirely within your control. Instead, a better and more measurable expectation for yourself might be:
“By the end of the week, I will have applied for a minimum of ten new positions.”
- Be gentle with yourself.
As I mentioned before, change is always hard but there is an added layer of difficulty when the changes you are experiencing were unplanned. It’s normal for those navigating these kinds of unexpected life transitions to experience a whole range of emotions.
You may feel excited by new opportunities one moment and terrified the next. You might feel devastated, or angry, or any number of other emotions.
That’s okay!
Be gentle with yourself in these seasons. Know that it’s perfectly normal for transition to feel tough. It’s important to give yourself the space and time to experience any and all emotions that may arise while you respond to life’s unexpected curveball.
- Find support.
No part of experiencing unplanned life transitions or changes is easy. That being said, there are ways to make the journey more doable. Finding a good system of support is essential.
Support can look like different things for different people and situations. You may find it helpful to have a few close family members to talk and process with. Depending on the nature of your life transition, you may find support group or counseling services that can help you learn new skills for coping with change.
The bottom line is…don’t let yourself become an island. We all need support, especially in circumstances such as these.
If you’ve found yourself in a season of unexpected change, I invite you to take to heart these three principles. You may not have planned for this, but you can make it through this new season of life.
If you’ve experienced an unplanned life transition in the past and have advice or wisdom to offer to our community, I’d love to hear from you! Drop a comment below this post and let me know what strategies you found helpful.
Article was contributed by: Maria Lees, Team Writer with Sarah Boxx
