October’s Open Letters – Gestures of Friendship and Support

October’s Open Letters – Gestures of Friendship and Support

Two women walk into a bar, no that’s not it… let’s start over. Two women walk into a yoga studio, and suddenly it’s 1991. One of them is a longtime friend bearing a surprise.

For some context…

For me to be in a yoga studio, in the middle of what is normally a full work day, is unusual. Self-affirming, good to do, but unusual. I don’t particularly like set schedules that take me away from my work. Even my daily walks with my dog vary. I just never know when I will be in the “flow” of creating or producing something and stepping away equates to lost momentum. And, it’s not just the class. It’s the additional travel time door to door. But, I made the commitment to my friend (one of the two women who just walked in) and there I was, settling in and getting ready for class.

My friend peels off her sweater and settles in next to me. I am always happy to be with her. We go way back and have traveled some miles together, literally and figuratively.  I am (as usual) in my own world. I can feel the tension in my quads and hamstrings, upper back and arms from the morning’s exercise followed by time on a keyboard.

It feels good to sit down and get back in touch with my breath and body, which has it’s quirks and odd pains from years of use, bumps and bruises.

That’s when my friend says, “I wore this shirt for you.”

That gesture, that shirt, are why this week’s letter of gratitude is written to my friend Meg Price, who some of you met way back on Episode 002 – No Labels, No Limits – with Meg Price, Courageous Counselor.

_________________________

Dear Meg,

I admit that I was somewhat distracted when you sat down beside me on your mat. In fact, I didn’t actually even notice you were wearing a t-shirt, even though it was kind of cold outside. And, never in our nearly 30-year friendship do I recall you saying you wore a specific t-shirt for me. But, thanks for doing it.

That t-shirt binds us to some of our earliest times together. More importantly for me, in that moment, it gifted me with a reminder of how many years (decades) I have been on this journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and challenging self-perceived limits for myself and for others.

Meg’s shirt was the one I gave women graduates of my Int-Action Model Mugging classes. It bears the images of two women leaping free of the earth and perceived limitations. The wording, “Limitless Opportunities” as the foundation.

That shirt symbolized a huge leap in my own life. A time when I stepped out and pursued a goal that was so different than anything I’d ever done before: teaching self-defense alongside instructors, most of whom held black belts in one or more martial arts. That wasn’t me. At the time, I operated my wallpapering business and worked part time for one of the area’s best landscape gardeners. (Also, a person I owe thanks for changing the trajectory of my life). I had never been in a dojo or taken any self-defense classes. I never experienced the adrenaline spikes of the Model Mugging (MM) scenario work, where after learning various moves and techniques each woman practiced against a padded assailant. One by one each of the 12 women would take her turn on the mat, facing off against the assailant. The purpose: to put into muscle memory the move and voice of response at the same time the student’s adrenaline is skyrocketing. Then, new techniques are drilled, and the fight scenarios repeated over and over.

Meg, you might remember that before each woman took her turn, all the other students would take their places around the mat. The lead instructor would walk to the corner of the mat, put her hand on the student’s back, make eye contact with the “mugger” and say these most powerful words,

“She is Ready.”

Then, without further waiting, the student started walking, not knowing when or exactly how she would be engaged. Her job? To get to the other side of the mat all the while knowing trouble would come her way. She had the skills and support to face the encounter and move beyond.

The work may sound easy and even academic in the telling, Meg. But it isn’t. I can feel my heart rate elevating as I remember my own many walks across the mat after hearing those words as a student. You are alone and it feels like it. You know you are in a class, your lead instructor is there to keep you safe and communicate with the male assailant. But, none of it matters. In that moment, it is YOU. Only you. It is your walk. Your fears and past experiences being challenged and busted apart. They are your tears of relief and liberation that follow. It’s you at the center of the other women, all cheering on your successful finish. You that has the bruises and sore muscles from fighting full out, even when feeling overwhelmed.

Meg, wearing that shirt reminded me of the paths I’ve traveled to be here now. I had forgotten how long I have been traveling this path of women’s (and men’s) self-empowerment – my own and that of walking alongside others. That shirt was an immediate bridge back to my intentions and inner guidance from more than 30 years ago, both of which have remained constant even though they’ve adapted and sometimes moved into the background as other “priorities” have emerged. But, it is this calling that pulls me always forward.

Your friendship and thoughtfulness reminded me, that at the core of my being is the joy of walking with other women, lifting myself and them up, so that we can each reach  our potentials and add to the lives and beauty of the world that surrounds us.

So, Meg… your thoughtfulness and kindness continue to inspire me. I love you, my sister.

PS – Inquiring minds do want to know: How does anyone keep a t-shirt looking nearly new for nearly three decades?

Today I walk alongside other women as we take on limiting beliefs, make liars out of the old fears, doubts, and “what ifs?” running in the background. And, I still say silently in my mind, as each person reaches deep inside themselves and goes after their goals, “She is ready.”

This week’s post ends the letters of gratitude month. Don’t let it stop here. Take time to acknowledge in some small way each day all the women and men who have helped you become the unique individual you are today. Then, go out and share your voice.

Oftentimes, there are people in our lives who inspire and motivate us without us even noticing. Make sure you are keeping yourself open to giving and receiving freely. Step out of your comfort zone, even if you are scared or apprehensive. If you’ve been working towards your goal for what seems like a lifetime, reflect on how far you’ve come and be grateful for any and all progress.

Just like the instructor putting their hand on my shoulder and saying “She is ready” gave me the courage to walk across the mat to face the surprise attack from my assailant, you too can make it through the gauntlet of life with assurance from those that support you – don’t let another day go by without thanking them!

#courage #friendship #lifelonglearner #neverstoplearning #AreYouReady #inspiration #lessonslearned #NLNLpodcast

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