Stress. It’s the body’s reaction to a mental, physical, or emotional demand. It’s a state of tension that can develop within your body, mind, or relationships.
Stress can take on many different forms.
Some stressors are external – derived from life circumstances, such as financial struggles, difficulties in family life, or workplace challenges.
Other stressors can be more physical in nature. This would include things like sleep deprivation or hunger. If you’ve ever felt “hangry,” you know what I mean.
Regardless of their source, when not processed and dealt with, the stress that you experience as an individual will likely overflow into your relationships, impacting how you interact with those around you.
Think about it…
When a person is in a state of chronic stress, it’s common to experience:
- Irritability
- Moodiness
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Constant worrying
- Difficulty relaxing
- Low morale
And that’s just a few of the mental and emotional effects of stress. On a physical level, stress can lead to:
- Fatigue
- Decreased libido
- Chronic aches and pains
- Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
It’s pretty difficult to experience any one of these symptoms (not to mention several) without beginning to take notice or even be affected by your stress. That being said, it’s fairly common to want to hide or suppress feelings of stress from those we care about.
Why?
On the surface level, it can feel easier to avoid our stress rather than unpack it. Sometimes the unpacking itself can lead to hard conversations that we’d prefer not to have.
As appealing as it may be, avoiding stress can have detrimental effects on your relationships. Here’s why:
→ Stress is contagious.
Did you know it’s possible to “catch” the emotions of others? It’s true. We naturally reflect the mood, emotions, and behaviors of those we spend the most time with.
Things like irritability or low morale are easy to pass to those around us. When we are living with unprocessed chronic stress, we may inadvertently share the emotions associated with our stress to those we care about.
Here’s an example:
You’ve had a tough day. It’s been long, demanding, and exhausting. Upon arriving home, your partner asks, “What’s for dinner?”
Although a simple question on the surface, to you it’s yet another person who needs something from you today. Instead of asking for help, or sharing about your stressful day, you snap. You respond with frustration and agitation, reminding your partner that they are also an adult and can feed themselves.
(Sound familiar?)
This results in not one, but TWO people in the relationship struggling with difficult feelings and emotions.
It’s all too easy to react from stress, rather than process stress. Unfortunately, this can lead to increased conflict within your relationships.
→ Lack of understanding means lack of support.
Most of the time, those we are in relationship with actually do care about our feelings and want to help us through our difficult moments (If this isn’t the case, you may need to reevaluate those you’ve chosen to include in your life.)
Consider this: If your friends and family are not responding to you in a helpful way, it could be stemming from a lack of understanding, rather than a lack of desire to help.
This can be a frustrating reality for all parties involved.
It can leave you feeling unsupported, neglected, or possibly, rejected. It can cause your loved ones to feel helpless, annoyed, or perhaps even resentful.
How can you avoid unnecessary relationship tension? Ask yourself this:
- Have I actually shared my stressors with my loved ones and invited them to truly understand my struggles?
- Am I open to receiving feedback or advice? If not, why?
- Have I asked for the kind of support I truly need or desire?
The truth is, stress is going to impact your relationships. Whether the stress belongs to you, to your loved one, or both of you together, it is, to a certain extent, and unavoidable part of life.
However, stress does not need to ruin your relationships. That, my friend, is (usually) avoidable. It starts with an honest and open self-reflection and willingness to share.
Maybe sharing isn’t your struggle? Maybe your difficulty is clearly identifying the sources of your stress?
If you’re looking for a way to get in touch with how you are doing as an individual, I’m hosting a workshop with Neil Bindemann, unpacking how to use his SmartTracker app to better understand and support your own emotional wellbeing.
Click HERE to sign up today!
RESOURCES:
https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/003211.htm
https://www.unr.edu/nevada-today/news/2018/atp-relationship-stress
https://hbr.org/2021/10/re-entry-stress-is-contagious-heres-how-to-protect-yourself#:~:text=Stress%20is%20contagious%20%E2%80%94%20a%20psychological,a%20lot%20of%20time%20around.
Article was contributed by: Maria Lees, Team Writer with Sarah Boxx
