Cultivating an attitude of gratitude isn’t just good for us. It’s life-giving for the people around us, as well. What if by expressing our gratitude to others, we could transform the places where we live and work?!?
Well, it seems we can do just that. Research supports the link between being grateful and appreciating what we have and the improved likelihood of our success, personally and professionally. When we are grateful, we radiate different energy, express better outlooks, and get a self-esteem “boost”.
WARNING: This is going to be a long post, as I cover months of progress, but stick with me and I promise you’ll find your nugget of wisdom!
For the past two months in this blog space I have participated in a gratitude exchange. First, I started by writing open letters of thanks to some of the many people who have gifted me by their time, thoughtfulness, and in some cases sharing their knowledge and experiences. After only a few letters, I was humbled to realize I could write a new letter every couple of days for months, so many are the gifts I’d received. This past month, I expressed my gratitude by sharing knowledge and tools with (hopefully) those of you who were looking for ‘just the right idea’ as you begin thinking ahead to 2019. All tools and ideas were freely shared with the hope they would benefit someone, and that they might be shared by others who found them valuable.
The gratitude focus extended beyond my immediate circles of family, friends and colleagues as I became aware of the many people who made my life better and more enjoyable just by being themselves, even if it’s part of their job description. And, I was humbled by how easy it is to create a positive moment for others by something as simple as a smile, a hug, and a few extra minutes in a conversation focused entirely on the other person.
In this post of appreciation, I’d like to share some wisdom from four of this year’s podcast guests: Michelle , Alison Gaulden, Madelyn Victoria and Josiah Bruny. (You can listen to the “highlights reel” podcast of all four by clicking ). I loved relistening to their interviews, and hope you take from these short highlights a “nugget” of wisdom that benefits you and those around you.
BE THANKFUL. GIVE BACK
“I realized that one little act of kindness could mean a lot more to the person that’s receiving it, and it costs nothing. So, I started Human. Kind. Be Both.” – Michelle Jezycki
Michelle is a successful business woman, leading three different companies in addition to serving as a subject matter expert/program manager for a nationwide capacity building project. She decided two years ago there was more that she could be doing and launched a movement: Humankind. Be Both®
Why? She wanted to find something she could do – a way to give back on a bigger scale than she already was doing. She had blown her knee out skiing, which left her with time during her recovery to think more about things going on in the world and in our country. The furthering divide in politics and relationships; the tendency to find another “wrong” when viewpoints differed. In her words, “the bar was getting lower and lower, and I was just appalled by it”.
In the meantime, she had been traveling to and from Africa to bring school supplies and other necessities. During her travels she encountered people who were joyful despite circumstances. In fact, on one trip the villagers offered to sacrifice the milk goat in gratitude (which would mean no more milk). Ultimately, the goat lived. But the gesture had an impact, “it made me realize these people are so joyful and so giving and I just left a very first-world country where we’re at each other’s throats and we’re throwing verbal stones as well as literal stones. It was heartbreaking, and …a reminder for myself as well as for others that I wanted to get out there [and make a difference].” And so, Humankind. Be Both® was established to raise money to give back to groups that walk-that-talk, of being human, being kind, and making a difference.
CHOOSE HAPPINESS – DAILY
“I think we have to choose to be happy. Happiness doesn’t come to you when you do all the right things. Every day you have to get up and decide, no matter what crappy thing’s going to happen, I’m going to be happy.” – Alison Gaulden
Alison has been in public relations all her working life. She started in her parents’ restaurant, moved on to becoming a passionate feminist of women’s economic and personal self-autonomy. Today, she connects students to career opportunities while teaching public relations and negotiation at the Reynolds School of Journalism. Through her experience she teaches others how to be strategic in their business relationships. She shares two tips for keeping focused on what matters. One from a Reader’s Digest article, the other from her mother.
When Alison was a kid, she read an article in The Reader’s Digest, which paraphrased and communicated this message:
Out of 100 percent of the people you’re going to run into in your life, 25 percent of those people are going to like you for all the wrong reasons. They’re going to want to drain your energy, because you are that “bright star,” or they’re going to think they can get something from you, or whatever. Twenty-five percent are going to dislike you for all the wrong reasons; they think they know who you are and they’re clueless. There’s just a mismatch, they haven’t put the energy into knowing you, they just got turned off by one small thing on a small day. And, 25 percent won’t like you for the right reasons; they see your flaws and they don’t particularly care for them.
But the only people who really matter are the 25 percent who like you for all the right reasons; they accept you for who you are, they appreciate what you have to contribute in their life, and they like and appreciate and love you, just as you are. And those are the people you worry about; let go of the 75 percent of everybody else and life is far less complicated.
From her very shy, reserved mother Alison learned that how she carried herself could be transformational.
“When I was also 16 years old, I was painfully shy. I would walk through the hallways with my head down, and my face almost into the top of my books, holding them tightly to my chest…scurrying through the hallways.” Alison wasn’t bullied, it was just how she approached the world. After school she’d come home, miserable and sad that nobody liked her. When she lamented to her mom, she was told,
“Well, here’s what you need to do. You need to hold your head up high, put your books on your hip, create an open space, and look people in the eye, and say “Hello” first, with a smile on your face.”
And, so Alison did just that, and her entire life was transformed.
STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF, HONOR YOUR ROOTS
“I’m so thankful for my parents for being there and I was able to express this growing up and not a lot of people have that.” – Madelyn Victoria
Like many kids who dream of music or acting careers, Madelyn started performing in front of family at a young age. With a hair brush for a microphone and coffee table as her stage, she was moving toward the future she envisioned. One performance at a time. Along the way, her family has been her foundation and continued support network.
“It’s crazy how when you have a goal in mind and you speak out loud of it, and you want it, and you believe it, it seems like it comes together naturally.”
“I love all kinds of music. I listen to all kinds of music, but the music genre I wanted to sing has been country my whole life. That’s due to the influences of my family growing up. I have so many uncles that are talented musicians and writers. No one turned professional though, due to different times. Back in the day, my grandparents had to work really hard, to make a living. Music wasn’t a thing to do for a living back then,” At least not for Madelyn’s family. “My family’s why I started my band. I wanted to do something for them to acknowledge their sweat, what they weren’t able to do at the time.”
Madelyn’s family has been by her side the entire journey, through the ups and downs, starting when she was in middle school. Madelyn was different and unafraid to be herself. It got to the point where the other kids would make up stuff about Madelyn and post it online. They bullied her in front of the whole school. It reached a point where she couldn’t eat lunch in the cafeteria anymore. Instead, she had to eat with the teachers. Tough times, especially for a teenager.
If she could go back in time to advise her younger self, she’d say,
“You’re going to get through this. You are going to get through this. Know that you don’t have to worry at all anymore.” That’s what she would say to her younger self. That’s what Madelyn is saying to anyone reading this. “You’re going to get through it.”
BE THANKFUL FOR YOUR TEAM AND SUPPORT NETWORK
“I’m not self-made. There are thousands of people that have molded me into who I am today, and I have to give them all the credit.” – Josiah Bruny
Josiah founded Music Changing Lives 16 years ago. His goal to teach young musicians how to own their music career – from recording through copyrighting – and become successful, independent artists. From a small studio inside a home garage, MCL has grown into a large, successful, afterschool program in Southern California. It is now poised to go global. One of the messages Josiah hammers home is that no one becomes successful on their own. We are touched and molded by others, and we get to step up on the shoulders of those who’ve gone before.
When one of Josiah’s students commented that Josiah was self-made, Josiah corrected, “No, I’m not. There’re thousands of people that have molded me into who I am today, and I have to give them all the credit.”
Josiah learned an important success habit during a class: business hours – and not just the standard 9 to 5. “You have to have your nine to five and then you have to have the time when you shut off and you have family time. Now that I have kids, I have my nine to five and then I come to home to my boys. They have me from maybe six to 12 or six to 10 whenever they fall asleep.” That’s when Josiah takes his nap and then wakes up around 2:00 AM and starts working on his projects.
“I love getting up early in the morning. It is very quiet and no one’s awake and I can just really hammer it out. And so that’s how my body is programmed now. You have to be able to give it 100 percent and then also know when it’s time to say ‘no’”.
Josiah learned a valuable lesson, mostly by trial and error, over the years. “It took me 15 years to truly learn. It is this year, honestly, where I’m really learning to just be okay with telling people no.”
As you plan your year, months and weeks ahead for 2019, be sure to carve out time to reflect daily on how much you already have (just look at nature) and can be grateful for each day.
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. – William Arthur Ward
Remember, gratitude is one of the greatest ways to make your world a happier place. I’m convinced that the more you practice it, the more things you’ll find to be grateful for. Pretty soon, it will be second nature – making your life healthier and impacting the world around you in a positive, uplifting way. Share your gratitude. Pay it forward.
Remember to click here and get all the worksheets and tools we shared this month to help set you up for a successful 2019.
