The Plan. I generally wake up in a pretty positive state of mind. If it’s after 4:40a.m., I know there is fresh coffee waiting, and I am eager to start my day. I have a general routine and a set of “rules” that guide my mornings. Among the rules, no bad news or problem-solving conversations until I take care of myself. My morning routine of self-care includes the following, generally in the same order: water, coffee, water, centering and reflecting, stretching, feeding the animals, and having breakfast. Pay attention, this is the IMPORTANT PART. What my routine does not include is media – print or other, email, or any reading that gets me excited and tells me (real or not) there is some crisis or urgent action that needs my attention. (Everyone in my inner circle has my phone number. After all, a real crisis should require a phone call, not an email.)
The Truth. Things don’t always go as planned. Admittedly, there are some days where I ignore my own rules and start in on my day before I’m grounded and focused. EVERY-SINGLE-TIME I do that, I regret it almost immediately. I see the rabbit hole I’m heading down and think, “Oh, this will only take 5 or 10 minutes, and then I can take it off my plate and start my day.” Logical and strategic thinking, right? Wrong! Here’s what happens. The 5 or 10 minutes ends up being 20. During that time, at least one or more items come to light that also need my attention. By now, I recognize I should simply make a note of those things, put them on my calendar to task for later and resume my normal routine. But I don’t. Nope, once I’ve started down the rabbit trail I seem to continue forward. It’s almost compulsory, if I don’t reach a comfortable stopping point, I could easily spend the better part of an hour, just reviewing and updating my to-do list. All of this, against my better judgment.
Yep, I hate when I go against my better judgment and ignore my “rules.” What makes it worse, is that I know better. I have the tools, habits, knowledge, and experience to move me through and beyond obstacles that might trip me up and are sure to steal my time. What can help us remember to do what serves us best?
The Tips: I have a variety of tools and processes that help me, but we each have to find what works for us on an individual level. Here are three simple tips (hint: simple does not mean easy) to help guide your way:
- Ask yourself questions
- Choose and declare
- Hold yourself accountable and responsible and start
Let’s take a closer look…
- Questions
I love and rely on questions when I’m trying to figure things out, including when I recognize I’m off target and not doing what serves me best. That could be in any area of my life – relationships, work, health, home, family, marriage, community, finances, etc. I have goals in each area and know what moving forward requires – short and long-term.
So by asking myself, “Are you doing what serves you best?” I am acknowledging I have a choice; I’m in charge of what I do and think. I am ultimately responsible and accountable to myself.
In fact, I got to practice this technique jus this morning. Yep, with a full day ahead I allowed myself to get sidetracked and focused on something over which I had no control. Worse, I could feel the physiological changes that signaled my “readiness” to take on the challenge (a.k.a., body going into react mode, into a stress state). There was no real threat. No reason to gear up. I could feel my focus and day slipping sideways. Continuing on this course was definitely going to end badly for me, and ultimately, others I would interact with throughout the day.
So I called an audible on myself. A “do-over,” a “time-out.”
I asked myself the following questions:
- Are you doing what serves you best right now, at this moment? If not, why not?
- How does what you are doing/not doing (or this conversation) benefit/hinder you?
My answer to the first question was a definite NO. Why not? Well, for the next 10 to 15 minutes I had to monitor my thinking and make myself start from where I was and take steps to rewind my day and get back on track. (After all, it was only 5:30 a.m. and I had an entire, glorious day ahead of me should I choose to change my mindset.) Then, it was time to move on.
- Choose and Declare
This step also involves asking questions intended to put me back in the driver’s seat of my experience and results.
- What would you be doing right now had you not decided to break your “morning rules”?
- What would you like to be doing?
- How would you like to feel in this moment?
- Why aren’t you allowing that feeling right now?
(It gets busy in my head when I have these internal “get-back-on-track-sessions” so breaking it down into manageable steps is crucial.)
It is time to decide NOW, after 10 or 15 minutes of reflection, the KIND OF DAY I want to have. Decide and move on. Don’t revisit the conversation or second guess myself. Decide.
- Hold Myself Accountable and Responsible – THEN START
It’s time to get real. This is when I hold myself accountable to the choice I just made. I become very specific and focused on the first step I need to take to move in the direction of my choice. Then, I take that step. Then another. The steps are small and easily accomplished so that I build momentum in the direction I’ve set. (Hint: telling yourself to change your mindset is not a small step. Telling yourself to brush your teeth or drink a glass of water IS.)
Yes, everything that was on my plate 10 or 15 minutes before is still trying to grab my attention. I see it and acknowledge it. But, I do that while I move ahead in the direction of my choice. Before too long, all the distractions have faded into the background, and I’m on my way to having the day I set my sights on. If I find myself off track again later in the day, I repeat the process. It works.
You can make it work for you too. Making sure you take time to do what serves you best, especially at the beginning of each day, will set the tone for your life. Establishing healthy routines and creating a lifestyle where you honor yourself will lead to a more fulfilled, well-rounded YOU! All of this is very easy to say, but taking real, actionable steps can be hard, especially if you are lacking clarity on where it is you want to be. This is where I can help. If you are looking for some guidance and want to map out what your path looks like, my inbox is always open. Alternatively, you can schedule a time to chat with me HERE.
Don’t let the distractions of life stop you from reaching your goals – move forward with intention!
