Have you ever stopped to truly question why you do what you do? Why do you make certain choices? Have certain habits? Even dress in a particular way?
Obviously, the answer to this question is nuanced and multifaceted. It typically isn’t one, but many factors that come together to influence our decision-making.
These factors may include:
- Personal values
- Habits
- Individual goals
- Opinions of friends and family
- Social norms
While each of these things hold some weight, for the purpose of this article, I’d like to focus on one in particular: social norms.
What are “social norms?”
According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Psychology, social norms are “the informal rules that govern behavior in groups and societies.”
Just about any kind of organized group will have it’s own set of understood practices and beliefs about all sorts of things. This includes organized religious groups, neighborhoods, political parties, etc. Even your family likely has “social norms” that it abides by.
Sociologists have been studying the impact of social norms on human behavior for centuries. While specific norms can impact our lives in different ways, the general consensus is this: the “rules” and expectations of the groups in which we belong can (and often does) impact both our behavior and our decision-making.
This impact and influence often occurs without us even realizing it. Depending on the norm in question, this can be a good or a bad thing.
You see, some social norms are helpful! They can lead to a greater sense of cooperation and belonging in relationships. For example, it is a “norm” in most neighborhoods to keep your grass routinely cut during the summer months. By choosing to abide by this norm and not allow your yard to grow like crazy, you’re likely to have more positive relationships with your neighbors.
Other social norms can actually hold us back from growth and progress toward our personal goals. Now, you may be wondering, “Why would someone follow a social norm that wasn’t helpful?”
Here are a few reasons:
- Maintaining a positive self-image.
Whether we realize it or not, many social norms have been internalized within our psyche from a young age. We actually can begin to connect following these norms with our sense of positive identity. By choosing to break norms that we had previously associated with being “good” or “pleasing” in some way, it can trigger a crisis of self-image.
- Keeping up a social image.
Choosing to deviate from the social norms of a particular group or body of people can, at times, have devastating effects on an individual’s acceptance in that group. The opinions others have about you may change, and, depending on the circumstances, choosing to break a social norm may also mean breaking ties completely with the group(s) that ascribe to that norm.
This isn’t easy to do. Especially when the group in question holds a place of significant value, importance and influence in your life (ex: your family, your religion, etc.)
- It’s just “how we’ve always done things.”
In many cases, the choice to continue following an “unhelpful” social norm, isn’t truly a choice at all. It simply doesn’t always occur to us to evaluate the social rules we’ve always ascribed to. We continue operating as we always have, simply because it’s “how we’ve always done things.”
If you’ve never taken the time to consider how many unwritten “rules” you follow in life, I’d encourage you to give it some thought! As you reflect, here are a few questions for your consideration:
- What groups or bodies of people have the most influence on your behaviors and choices?
- Should these groups hold significant sway in your life? Why or why not?
- What “social norms” are helping you be the person you want to be?
- Are there any “rules” you need to start breaking?
Do me a favor…
Would you drop a comment below or send me an email at sarah@sarahboxx.com and share your answer to ONE of the above questions? I’d love to hear your response!
Article was contributed by: Maria Lees, Team Writer with Sarah Boxx
