When I think of the word “chasing” it conjures up an image of things being just out of reach, moving a little faster than we are, and sometimes even a bit daunting. I can hear the sound of my breath as it delivers more oxygen to compensate for me moving faster and faster. The mental pressure and messages propel me onward, bringing with them an urgency to seek, to learn and to accomplish. Sometimes stopping benefits the chase. Just stop. Breathe. Reflect. Regroup. Take stock.
Don’t get me wrong. I am a big proponent of goals and dreams. I like the challenge and thrill of reaching beyond what I think possible and being surprised to see who I meet and who I become in the process. I even like the slight adrenaline edge emanating from the pressure, keeping me focused entirely on the person I am with, the products I am creating or the story I’m writing. Goals and dreams help to push me into the unknown, to meet my aspirations, and to support and inspire others along the way.
BUT…this week I’m suggesting that RATHER THAN CHASING YOUR DREAMS FULL SPEED AHEAD, you pull up a chair (preferably at the beach or perhaps somewhere in nature) and spend some time reflecting on the information shared in the previous three blogs (1, 2, 3). See if maybe, just maybe, some of your dreams have been chasing you. Just waiting for you to stop long enough to notice them closing in from behind.
Let’s review. First, we talked about how you know when it’s the right time for you to make a change. The work involves checking in with yourself on the following questions:
- What do I want to be doing, experiencing, and having as compared to what is currently occurring in my life? What is ONE goal I want to achieve in the next six months? Is your goal going to take longer than six months? If so, that’s great. BUT… you need to chunk it down so at least one area of the goal is completed in the next six months. Then ask yourself:
- What do I need to know (skills, people, and knowledge) that I don’t know now? Make a list of the people, skills, and knowledge you need to get from where you are today to where you want to be.
- How much does it matter to you to acquire the skills, relationships and knowledge? For each item you listed, rate it from 1 to 6, where six is “it matters an extreme amount” and 1 is “it matters a little.”
- What could I do to begin right now? For anything you rated 4, 5 or 6, write out at least three steps you could take to begin achieving results in those areas today. (Don’t take the steps just yet).
- How committed am I to take those steps? Use the same rating scale as you did above, only this time rate each of the action steps you just drafted.
- Still need to gain further clarity about which way to go, even after completing the above steps? If you are still wondering if you’ve outlined the best goal, priorities, and actions steps for you at this moment, you can spend time considering the pros and cons of each. Think beyond yourself when reflecting. What would accomplishing your goals and dreams mean to those around you? Your friends, family, and community; people you don’t know yet – or who you may never know? More importantly, what would be missed or lost by those same people if you never even tried? What might your example of moving with intention toward a goal – no matter how long it takes to achieve – mean to others? What hope might it offer to someone who facing similar challenges?
- Clear up and move out. Start. Now reflect on your action steps. Anything rating lower than a 5 or six should be tabled until you get traction in other areas. Then START from where you are and with what you have today. You have enough to begin.
- And remember, risk and uncertainty are part of the journey. You can seek guidance and coaching from people, books, classes and community, but in the end, you will need to be the one to take the steps forward.
After talking about knowing how and when to set out on a “change adventure”, we talked about responding to disappointments and frustrations that are sure to pop up along the way. Takeaways? Listen differently, be flexible, and have a back-up plan that allows forward progress; it’s about alternatives without excuses. Remember, when you are moving forward, whether you are experiencing success or setbacks, it’s shaping your life and letting you grow into the person you were meant to be. The key to maintaining forward momentum is digging deep, re-adjusting your attitude and figuring out your next (or revised) steps. More specific reminders:
- Reflect on what worked, what didn’t and what you learned as a result. The benefit comes when you apply the lessons learned to future encounters, actions or when faced with tough decisions.
- Check in with yourself, often. Are you in sync with yourself? Feeling focused, engaged and creative? Or, are you feeling disconnected, pessimistic, and stuck? Do you remember to celebrate your “wins” daily rather than focus only on what’s yet to be done? Ask yourself if it is time to reevaluate and reset your goals and direction. Do you need to reach out to friends and consider what others who’ve gone before you have done to adjust and get back on track?
- Adjust your plans. When you realize something isn’t working as you’d expected, it is time to make adjustments to get you back on track. Sometimes just looking at everything with fresh eyes is all it takes. Reevaluate your commitments and how realistic your expectations are. Does it all really fit into the time and space you’ve allowed? Did you encounter something you never thought you would? Is there a hidden treasure in what appears at first to be a problem? Let go of having to have it happen only the way you planned it. Be open to surprises and take note. You may discover something even better than you could have foreseen.
- Start with a backup or contingency plan. (Then be prepared to never have to use it!). Create a short term plan “B” at the outset. Having a Plan B does not let you off the hook for succeeding, but it acknowledges that your first plan may go a bit sideways. Having a Plan B can help put your mind at ease, knowing you are much less likely to feel backed into a corner, powerless or stuck because you’ve thought about options at the front end. While considering your Plan B, check in on how your financial backup plan is fairing also. If your big goal is leaving stable employment, be sure to check out this article from Gina Ragusa, Can You Afford to Quit Your Job? Here’s How Much Money You Need to Have Saved Up.
So this week, let’s each take a step back, catch our breaths and look over the tools in our toolbox. Let’s make sure that while we’ve been busy chasing our dreams, we’ve also stopped to notice which of our dreams have turned around to catch us. Appreciate all that we’ve gained in the process just by showing up fully engaged and committed. And then, enjoy the view.
