As I drove past our gym yesterday morning, I was quite surprised to see that the parking lot was nearly full. Now, normally, on any given early morning, there would be only a third the number of cars. Then I remembered, it’s still the first month of the New Year and many resolutions are still in play. People are continuing the attempt at being committed to their goals and the effort it takes to pursue them.
That got me wondering…how many of us are as committed to creating healthier mental states – mindfulness, affirming attitudes and beliefs, and focused action – as we are to maintaining our physical health. The Canadian Mental Health Association, the Mental Health Foundation, and the Centers for Disease Control all report the powerful connections between our mental and physical well-being, with studies and reports supporting those findings.
It is the combination of the two – healthy mind and healthy body – that leads to our personal success and sense of fulfillment.
“The difference between peak performance and poor performance is not intelligence or ability; most often it’s the state that your mind and body is in.” —Tony Robbins
This week we are sharing three powerful steps that can set you up for keeping a better mental state, which will ultimately help you in achieving your goals this year.
- BOLO (Be On the Look Out). This is all about awareness of the language that you use, and that of others you interact with throughout the day. Whether you just observe or take it one step further and make notes, what you are on the lookout for is the frequency with which people communicate using positive or negative words and how they are framing the situations in which that occurs.Now this gets a bit “deep”, so you may have to read this bit a couple of times before it sets in. Pay attention to the different people you interact with, including your own choices of language and framing when you communicate. You are also on the lookout for how the differences in word choices impact how you and others feel in those situations. Now, are you energized and empowered to act? Are you adrenalized and anxious? This would be a good place to jot down some of the specific thoughts and reactions that you and others experience from the words, body language and tone during communications.
- Break up with – or at least take a timeout from your own negative, limiting, disempowering words and assumptions. Now that you’ve completed step one, you have a pretty good idea of the words that you frequently use which do not affirm yourself and your abilities. These are simple words that can tell the world you are either uncertain, unable, or unwilling to recognize your own power. These are words and phrases you say to yourself about yourself, whether in your head or out loud like: dumb, stupid, slow; not smart enough, thin enough, tall enough; not as good as [anyone] at [anything]. And, definitely take a time out from phrases like: I’ll try; I don’t know if I can; maybe but I’m not sure. Each of which signals indecision to yourself and others. Simply saying “No” or “I’ll get back to you when I have an answer” sends a clearer, more empowering message.
- Go on a Negativity Diet. I first heard about negativity diets on a podcast. Beyond sounding like a novel idea, what struck me was how much more challenging it actually was for the woman relating the story than it was for her to go on a food diet. Even though she was only attempting a one-week negativity diet, the clock reset each time she found herself falling in to one of the “negativity traps”. Some morning it happened before she had her second cup of coffee, other times she made it well into the day.
Take a quick second to really ponder that. With food changes, you have the rest of the day to get back on track. There is no such flexibility with the negativity diet. While she laughed about it, she also acknowledged that this level of rigor was what it took to wake her up and change her inner thoughts. Since there are many articles and blog posts about negativity diets, including these: Go on a Negativity Diet: How to Going on a Negativity Diet by Passage to Poise, Unleash the Power of Positive Thinking by Jamie Jefferson, The No Negativity Diet by Roderick Telford, I will simply summarize what most share in common; the first one I added.
- Establish a personal goal and time frame-three days, one week, one month-whatever your personal goal is. Once it’s set, stick to it. During this time pay attention and journal or track your experiences so you can see your trials and triumphs come to light.
- Stop negative talking – yours or others. At a minimum, remember the saying which goes, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” You can have difficult and honest conversations without being negative or making things personal.
- Avoid negative environments. This includes any gossip, spending time with friends and colleagues who talk about how bad things are, what is unfair, who’s a slouch, and what’s wrong with others and the world. If you can’t avoid them, limit exposure as best as possible.
- Go media-free or at least stay away from broadcast news, news feeds of any kind that are accompanied by images and rants that can seep in to your brain without you even being aware. (Hint: this includes the scrolling feeds on the bottom of the screens when you are working out at the gym.) For those who cannot stay away from the news, it’s recommended that you only read it so that you can control what comes into your environment and mind.
- Be real with your feelings. Going on a negativity diet does not mean ignoring your upsets, anger, frustration, or other uncomfortable feelings and emotions. It simply means being real and honest while “time-boxing” talking about or re-living them so they do not take over your mental focus. Following this direction will help you return to being solution-oriented.
Try the three steps above and let us know how it goes. Feel free to share your own tips for “keeping your head in the game” and the right mindset as you move throughout your days. And remember:
“No matter how daunting the circumstances of your life may be, the greatest battle you wage against failure occurs on the inside, not the outside. How do you fight that battle? You start by cultivating the right attitude.” —John Maxwell
