We started September considering how our mindsets, influenced by our past and our underlying, and often unconscious beliefs affect our experiences. To what degree are our health, relationships, careers, and spiritual lives affected by our mindsets? In our very last blog, we shared four steps that help us move out of a negative (nonproductive or ineffective) mindset into a more positive space. And, let’s not forget the promised details about a friend of a friend that received unexpectedly great news about their health. What impact did his mindset have on his outcomes?
Make a Choice – Go Positive
Yes. I get how hard it is to move out of negative mindset and into a positive space, especially when you’re fully engaged and fired up about something, feeling justified (and you might be) in your anger, or even having a grown-up version of a tantrum. But pushing yourself to a positive place is necessary if we want to make forward progress on our personal goals and aspirations.
Why? Because negativity is an energy-zapping, soul-sucking space to hang out in for very long.
Don’t believe it? Just think about the last time you were in a group of friends or family and each conversation was about how everything was falling apart, and everyone was being “wronged” in some way (at work, in someone’s relationship, the country as a whole, the neighborhood, etc.). Or, when you were in a meeting with the goal of finding solutions, and each offer was met with any of the following refrains:
- “Won’t work, already tried it.”
- “We don’t have enough (time, energy, skills, staff, etc.)”
- “We already agreed that it’s not feasible.”
- “Where’s the proof that will even work? What’s the point?”
I would bet that when the time came, you couldn’t leave the situation fast enough. You felt less energetic, creative, hopeful or positive about those around you and the rest of your day. Unless you are the anomaly, being around negative people will make you feel more negative. The adage, negativity breeds negativity, rings true. This should further instill the need to create positive space in our life and work on limiting exposure to toxic habits or relationships.
Science behind the Choice
Before you think I am saying we should not talk about difficult things, or try to resolve real life issues, I’m not. What I am saying is that our own mindset influences our expectations and choice of words. Consequently, our words can either ADD TO or DIMINISH the experience and mindsets of all present. We need to be intentional about setting and maintaining a positive mindset, because it does make a difference, not only for ourselves, but others as well.
Healthy Positivity?
How about some health benefits from pushing towards positivity? Positivity and an optimistic outlook have been associated with improved moods and mental health, less anxiety and overall distress when faced with extreme situations, including recovery from illness and disease (link to 1985 article: The Atlantic). This is attributed to being more solutions-oriented if you are a positive person and holding an optimistic view point. Additional research found that positive emotions lead to seeing more possibilities in your life. Furthermore, once positive feelings subside, the benefits continue and provide an enhanced ability to grow our resources and skills for future use. (Resource: https://jamesclear.com/positive-thinking)
Now, for the Feel-Good Friend Update
Last week, I mentioned a guy “riding side-by-side on the battlefield of health and healthcare with a positive attitude and gratitude”. Before he tells you in his own words what happened, let me ask you this:
What do you imagine your first thoughts would be if you were handed life-altering and devastating news?
I can’t honestly say for myself, but I hope I would remember his story and take a lesson. Shared on his Facebook feed and used here with his permission, is Jorge’s (Coqui’s) story.
______________________
Jorge David Gamero
August 29, 2018Exactly one year ago, I -Coqui Gamero- was diagnosed with terminal cancer, the doctor gave me what it should be my life expectancy and a “sorry, there is nothing we can do”.
What I felt is indescribable because I never had any symptoms, and I could even visualize my last day [before my diagnosis].
But seconds later, something that I had never experienced arose in me. Something like:
“Thank you, God, for the life you gave me until this day, and thank you for this moment because I am still here, and thank you for the time that I have left because every extra day from now on will be a gift from you.
And paradoxically I am happier now than before my diagnosis. Do you know why?
I’m no longer in a hurry for anything, just for feeling at peace with myself.
Throughout this year, real miracles happened to me, miracles that your prayers made possible. [Miracles] like angels that took the form of people and appeared in my life and changed my destiny:
Fiorenza Lucas, Giselle Gamero, Claudia Montoya, my sisters Shella and Sandy, Elisa Ramirez, Griselda Zapata, Franshesca Plasencia, Nella Cabrera, Loyo Caballero, Jota Palacios, relatives and hundreds of friends, people that I never imagined will give me their support, did it; [I know] all the time that I have left won’t be enough to thank you for all you have done for me.
Thank you with all my heart, although “thank you” is a small thing to say.
After 3 surgeries and one more coming, 28 radiations, 12 chemotherapies, and almost two months of hospitalization, today I was informed that I have no tumor left in my body, that I responded astonishingly to everything, and my [clinical] picture had changed; however, my diagnosis will remain the same for some more years.
I have fought a battle but have not won the war. Now, I ask you all to continue praying and sending good vibes because I need them more than ever. I believe in the power of prayer.
As an appreciation gift [for your prayers] I will give you an advise [knowledge I gained] from the experience I lived.
I never break down.
I never stop dreaming.
I never stop putting a smile on someone’s face, even if I do not know them.
I never stop being myself.Thank you!
__________________
Coqui’s story reminds us that we all have the responsibility to choose our mindset. While he knows his “war” continues, he recognizes the paradox of his diagnosis and continues to choose his mindset, to be grateful for his friends and family, push towards positivity, and challenge his thoughts and beliefs about what is possible.
You may be at a point where it seems impossible to create a sense of positivity in your life, but don’t let that discourage you. Take an inventory of the resources you have available and what you still need to reframe your mindset and push to positivity. If you need inspiration or just someone to bounce ideas off of, we are here to support. We have plenty of timely resources on our webpage and blog – there’s no shortage of information in today’s world, you just have to find works for you.
