The fruit of a good life can be measured in many ways, but I’d argue one of the most important ways is the impact we leave on others.
To put it simply, kindness matters.
There are some people who enter our lives that, whether they realize it or not, change us for the better! These individuals leave an indelible mark upon our lives that has the potential to permanently shape the way we view others, the world, and hopefully, ourselves.
These influential people stand out in our lives as beacons of positivity, encouragement, or reassurance. Hopefully, as you’re reading this, you are able to bring to mind the faces of one or two of these powerful players in your own life.
If I were to ask you what made these individuals so impactful, I’m guessing you won’t start listing their professional accomplishments you admire or the number of marathons they’ve trained for.
No, more than likely, it isn’t their achievements that make these individuals stand out from the crowd (although they may have many), but rather the way in which they treated you that made such a profound impact on your life.
Here’s the truth:
Our lasting legacies are made, not from what we do or accomplish, but from how we treat those around us.
If you think this sounds like a lesson created for a Kindergarten curriculum, you’re absolutely right! It is simple. Foundational in fact. So basic that we teach this concept to the youngest minds among us.
And yet…
Politeness is becoming a lost art.
You only have to scroll social media for about two minutes or spend an afternoon in rush hour traffic to know this is true.
We all know at an intellectual level that our words and actions matter. That kindness and respect towards others should be of the utmost importance. We know this to be true, but so many of us struggle to put this value into practice.
Why?
Let’s go back to the fruit tree analogy.
A tree that lacks adequate sunlight, water, or fertile soil, isn’t likely to grow much fruit. If it grows any fruit at all, there’s a good chance it may have holes or other malformations caused by nutrient deficiencies.
The same is true of our lives.
If we lack proper mental, physical, or spiritual nourishment, the fruit we produce will be subpar at best.
To make it more practical…
- Do you ever find yourself more cranky when you are hungry? (The term “hangry” exists for a reason.)
- Do you ever break commitments with friends or loved ones when you’re sleep deprived and exhausted?
- Have you ever noticed yourself becoming more irritable after spending time on social media or watching the news?
- Do you have less patience with your spouse or children when you’ve overpacked your schedule and are feeling stretched thin?
- Do you spend time with people whose conversation and language is consistently critical or negative?
See what I mean?
We know kindness is important, and yet, being kind to others often goes out the window when we’ve neglected other important needs in our lives. Eventually, our internal stress will bubble up and inevitably spill onto those around us.
So what can we do?
Like any important habit or task in our life, kindness requires a bit of intentionality (especially if you’ve gotten out of the habit.) Being kind is a CHOICE. Yes, even when you’re stretched to your limit, you can choose to respond with kindness.
Here are a few tips for reclaiming the person we all WANT to be:
- Start with yourself. If you can’t be kind to yourself, it’s going to be difficult to extend that gift to others. I recommend choosing a positive affirmation or two you can call to mind when negative self-talk threatens to consume your mind.
- Meet your basic needs. Let’s face it, it’s harder to be kind when you are hungry, tired, or stressed. If you’ve been struggling to make these basic needs a priority in your life, it’s time to make a plan! Have you tried meal prepping? Perhaps a bedtime ritual?
- Choose a focus person. Is there someone in your life that you constantly struggle with? Perhaps a coworker, child, or your spouse? Make this person the intentional recipient of your kindness. What are one or two simple acts of kindness you can do each day to bless this particular individual? Consider posting these goals somewhere you will see them or setting a phone reminder to help you follow-through.
- Reflect daily. Oftentimes, our “less than kind” actions aren’t a lack of desire, but a lack of self-awareness or intentionality. They are quick, reflexive reactions, usually to old stories and stressful situations. Take 5-10 minutes at the end of each day to reflect:
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- What is a moment or situation today in which I was kind?
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- What is a moment or situation today in which I could have responded differently?
These few minutes each day can make acting with kindness something you are more acutely aware of as you move throughout your day.
Finally, let me ask you this:
How do you personally like to practice kindness in your own life? How do you see kindness being shown within your team or organization?
If you would, drop your answers in the comments below! I’d love to hear your stories.
Article was contributed by: Maria Lees, Team Writer with Sarah Boxx
