Hey there! Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where you felt like you were holding back, not quite sharing your true self, because of fear of judgment or rejection? Or maybe you’ve felt like you had to play a role to keep the peace. It’s something we all do occasionally, but wouldn’t it be freeing to show up as your authentic self in every relationship?
Today, let’s explore how understanding your Enneagram type—and others’ types—can help you connect with others in a deeper, more meaningful way. The Enneagram can help us embrace honesty and authenticity while also giving us empathy for how others communicate and express themselves. When we know how someone else sees the world, we can bridge gaps, reduce misunderstandings, and build stronger connections.
Unlock Authentic Communication with Enneagram
The Enneagram is more than just a personality tool—it’s a way to understand how we communicate and connect with others. When you know your type, you start to see patterns in how you express yourself and respond to others. Maybe you’re a Type 2, and you naturally focus on nurturing others, sometimes to the point of over-giving. Or perhaps you’re a Type 5, where you value independence and knowledge but can struggle to open up emotionally.
Whatever your type, the Enneagram helps you understand why you communicate in the way you do and how it impacts your relationships. The key here is authenticity—learning to drop the need to perform or seek approval and instead embrace who you are. When you communicate from this place of honesty, you invite others to do the same.
And here’s where knowing someone else’s type comes into play. Understanding the lens through which they view the world can change how you approach conversations. For example, a Type 1 might be very detail-oriented and focused on doing things “the right way,” while a Type 7 might be more spontaneous and adventurous. Knowing these differences allows you to communicate in ways that resonate better with them.
Strengthen Connections Through Empathy
One of the most potent gifts the Enneagram offers is empathy. When you understand someone else’s type, you’re not just guessing how they think—you’re seeing the world from their perspective. This makes navigating tricky conversations easier, fostering more profound understanding, and connecting genuinely.
For example, a Type 9 might avoid conflict to maintain peace, while a Type 8 thrives in direct, assertive conversations. Knowing these tendencies helps you adjust how you communicate to make both of you feel heard and valued.
By recognizing these differences, you can foster empathy and reduce misunderstandings. Real connection happens when both parties feel seen and heard—not just for what they say but for who they are.
Unlock Intimacy: Be Bold, Be Real!
Here’s the thing about relationships: they thrive on vulnerability. When we show up fully as ourselves, flaws and all, we permit others to do the same. That’s how a real connection is built. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to be perfect or that we should hide parts of ourselves, but the truth is that our uniqueness strengthens bonds with others.
The Enneagram encourages us to embrace our uniqueness. Whether you’re an intense-feeling Type 24 or a logical, strategic Type 5, your strengths and challenges make you who you are. And that’s the person your relationships need. But when you understand and appreciate others’ Enneagram types, you’re not just focusing on your growth—you’re also valuing their unique gifts and challenges. It’s a two-way street where you learn to accept and support each other.
Integrate Now: C.A.R.E.
When building stronger relationships through the lens of the Enneagram, remember to C.A.R.E.:
- Communicate Authentically by showing up as your true self and dropping the need for approval.
Tip: Take a moment to reflect on your recent conversations. Did you hold back or feel like you were performing? Next time, try sharing something small and true about yourself that you might have kept hidden. See how it feels—and notice how understanding the other person’s type changes the dynamic.
- Acknowledge Others’ Perspectives by using the Enneagram to understand their communication style and worldview.
Tip: Take a moment to listen actively and consider the other person’s point of view without immediately responding. Reflect on what their Enneagram type might reveal about their communication style and emotional needs, then engage with empathy and understanding.
- Reclaim Vulnerability by embracing honesty and showing your true self in conversations.
Tip: In your next conversation, try embracing vulnerability. Share something honest that you might normally keep hidden—whether it’s an emotion, a concern, or even just a silly quirk. Notice how the relationship shifts when you bring your whole self into the interaction.
- Use Empathy in Every Interaction to foster deeper connections and reduce misunderstandings.
Tip: The next time you have a conversation with someone, especially if things get tense, pause and consider what Enneagram type they might be. How might their type shape the way they’re reacting or expressing themselves? Adjust your approach to meet them where they are, and see how the conversation shifts.
Practicing these principles can strengthen your relationships and create lasting, meaningful connections. How will you incorporate C.A.R.E. in your relationships this week? Let’s continue the conversation!
Ready to explore more? Three resources for learning and fun.
- Do you like to know the science behind successful practices? Why we act, think, and speak like we do? Me, too. This week, I listened to Hidden Brain’s You 2.0: The Gift of Other People, featuring psychologist Nicholas Epley. Hosted by Shankar Vedantam, Nicholas explores how our interactions with others can be more fulfilling and meaningful. He shares his field research and some surprising findings, applicable both personally and professionally.
- Episode 367 – Navigating Disagreements: Fostering Inclusivity with Justin Jones-Fosu. This episode highlights the power of understanding and inclusivity when building relationships, especially when communication styles differ.
Listen here - Episode 66 – Exploring Inner Depths with Melissa Agnes
Melissa shares insights on how self-awareness can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.
Listen here.
