As we plug along in our journey through life, sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads. We can see that the path we’ve been on for years is now diverging in front of us. Not just a little side road but a clear crossroads – one that means evident choices and perhaps even a parting of ways. Is it time to take a risk and head in a new direction? What will that mean for those closest to us? Is it truly feasible at this point in time? These points are critical for us.
And, while we must give them careful consideration, it’s also important not to linger too long at a crossroads. If we pause for too long, frozen by fear or indecision, we expose ourselves to dangers. Like missing an opportunity in front of us (a path will close) unless we grab it while we have the chance. Or getting mired in thinking about all the possible outcomes and worrying about all the possible risks of choosing the wrong path. Those times when you’ve lost sleep mulling over possibilities can be debilitating and the risk of becoming depressed is very real.
In these moments of potential transition, it can be wise to get a little help! Both as you make this important decision but also in the days, weeks, and months after the change. Never, never be afraid to consult your traveling companions!
Who is your tribe?
Do a quick search of the blogosphere and you will quickly see that the concept of “tribe” is popular in today’s culture. But what do we really mean when we talk about finding a tribe? Historically, a tribe was a social group existing before the development of, or outside of, states. Many anthropologists used the term ‘tribal society’ to refer to societies organized largely on the basis of kinship. Kinship. Today, because of our globally wired society, those people may or may not be in your immediate locale. They could be anywhere. But, the point is that they are the people who “get you”. People with whom you connect. It’s the place where you fit and can you express your full self. Where you grow. Your tribe can be family, close friends, healers, some co-workers, your mentors, a club, organization, or church, and even professionals like a psychologist, life coach, or acupuncturist.
These are the people you can turn to in the midst of a transition. They are the voices you need when you’re stuck at the crossroads and looking for some help in navigating the way forward. The trick is making sure they are unbiased enough to give you true feedback that considers YOUR best. If, for instance, you are considering leaving your current career or making a major move, they need to be able to set aside how that transition will affect THEM and champion your dream without personal bias. Who are these people you can call on when you’re at the crossroads?
What next?
But, those aren’t the only people you’ll need to rely on as you move through a time of transition. If you’ve decided to take that left turn off the main road, you’ll find yourself in a new space. All the old systems you relied on in your old space are gone. You have a new learning curve to navigate and new skill sets to develop. I liken it to moving to a new city – you have a lot to learn about your new community and a number of new “normals” to establish. Who will you turn to help you navigate this new terrain?
Truth be told, it might feel a little hopeless and lonely at first. And, that will make you wonder if you made the right choice. This is not the time to talk yourself back out of your path forward. That’s why it’s so important to find new support structures. You need to add to your tribe and find others who can help you along this new leg of the journey. Here are a few tips to help you in that.
- Of course, you can always start online. There are plenty of affordable online courses, books, and seminars on almost any topic under the sun. Also, use Facebook and/or LinkedIn to find online groups. As you read blogs, listen to podcasts, and read articles, keep your antennas up for communities that have developed within those platforms. Once you have found your groups, ask questions and develop new support structures within them. You’ll find that you’re not alone. And, you’ll likely find others who are on the same path and are quite happy to offer their perspective.
- Attend an event, workshop, or conference. There is a whole network of events and conferences out there. In nearly every niche. Sometimes the hidden gold in attending one of these workshops is not from the speaker up front but from the fellow attendees you meet along the way.
- Find a coach, mentor, and/or accountability partner. This can be a virtual relationship or a local, in-person relationship. It will often flow out of the online research you did OR the networking at conferences. It may be industry specific or it may not – many of the principles you will learn from a life coach will apply no matter what field you are in.
- Don’t forget your tribe. Remember the people who helped you through the transition in the first place? You might be in a new workspace or pursuing a new dream, but they are still your people! Let them support and encourage you in your new endeavor even if they don’t have expertise in that exact field.
Life’s crossroads create opportunity for us to choose between different options. A crossroads is about change. Choices must be made —a change in careers, political upheavals, the end of childrearing, or challenges with our health.
Knowing who we can turn to at that crossroads, can make it a moment of profound and lasting change. Where will you turn so that you thrive during this time of transition?
