“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
You are standing EXACTLY at the right place at this moment to become the person you want to be (or become more of) in your life.
Whether you like it or not (or get mad at me for saying so), your current circumstances have emerged from a series of choices and decisions. Some you made for yourself consciously. Others, people, and society made for you and you accepted. Some choices were so microscopic and subconscious, even reflexive, you did not recognize they were choices. Other decisions were big, the kind you thought about, researched, made pro and con lists, etc. You KNEW you were making those decisions. No doubt about it.
- Feeling great, energetic, successful? That’s you (and those that supported and cheered you on along the way).
- Feeling defeated, deflated, undervalued and unmotivated? That’s you, too (and the nay-sayers and fearful people in your life who tried to dash your goals or dreams).
If you are experiencing the benefits of positive and affirming choices in your life and feeling good about where you are personally, professionally, on the health front and in your relationships, you will be quick to take credit and accept responsibility. Hopefully, you will be humble enough to step back and recognize you did not get there alone or without support.
However, if you wake up frustrated, feeling stuck, knowing you could and should be “more” in the various dimensions of life you will be less enthusiastic about stepping up and declaring, “Yes! It’s all me… I am here because I decided to be here with each choice to act or stay the same.”
This is not about blame. It’s about recognizing OUR POWER. It’s about taking the reins of OUR RESPONSIBILITY to step up, to choose to grow ourselves to be the best of who we KNOW we are. Living in alignment with our values.
“Living in a way that reflects one’s values is not just about what you do, it is also about how you do things.” – Deborah Day
Last week’s post, we walked you through the benefits and the first five steps for reflecting where you are on the seven dimensions of life. If you took the time to complete the exercise, you will have a numerical score (between 1 and 10) for each dimension:
- Mental
- Spiritual
- Physical
- Family
- Financial
- Personal
- Career
Go grab your worksheet now and let’s finish the exercise to get you on your way to creating the NEXT version of your best self.
To recap (for those who still need to take the “mini-assessment”). You listed each dimension and defined what success in that area looks like for you. You have a score for each area that reflects the past 6 to 12 months. And, you refined your definitions (where needed) to align more closely with YOUR values. And you started a week of ongoing reflection (not action) and staying curious. You considered each area and “felt” where you are being called to be more present and focused to achieve YOUR definition of success. Finally, you circled ONE dimension to begin working on this week. (This won’t be your only focus forever, but until you get in the habit of attending to one dimension consistently, adding other areas or goals just ensures your frustration and increases the likelihood you will give up.)
Now, on to the remaining steps (5, 6 and 7) of your “mini-assessment”.
Step 5: Write down THREE actions you will take repeatedly (daily) to strengthen this dimension. These should be actions you can take within 10 minutes or less. If you need more than that amount of time, then reduce the total action steps. For the first week or so, make your TOTAL time commitment 20 to 30 minutes. Remember you are building a habit muscle and the goal is consistency.
Step 6: Place those action steps on one or more pieces of paper so they are constant reminders of your commitment to yourself. Carve out a time each day to work on this and then schedule that time in your calendar. Set reminders and TAKE ACTION every day.
Step 7: Schedule a reminder in your calendar for the same time each week and review the results of your actions. Look back at your initial self-assessment and compare yourself week over week to how you were doing in the beginning. Are you heading in the direction you expected? Make small modifications if you must but stay consistent for at least a month.
The benefits of this type of reflection and dedicated focus will ripple into other areas of your life, helping you live in alignment and integrity.
“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” ― Barbara De Angelis
Come back next week for the final post in this month’s series to learn how to elevate the stakes and ensure you reach your objectives. If you have questions or want more in-depth coaching or consulting from me, please reach out and we can set a time to chat. No obligation (it’s free). All you need to do is share some information about yourself and I’ll send you a link to schedule at your convenience.
