The concept of mindset has been on my, well, mind for some time. The science behind it, how it affects us in our daily life at a personal and professional level, and what a slight shift in mindset can do to change an outcome. How does my mindset (or anyone’s) help or hinder our collective experiences?
Then, there’s the question I am asked frequently, see others struggle with, and also ask myself regularly: How do I change my mindset once it’s off and running fast down the wrong (read: non-productive, negative, or limiting) path? How do I stop the madness and get back on track?
As I was mulling this over, I received an update about someone who just received unexpectedly great news about their health. I know from second-hand conversations over the past year the degree to which this person had ridden side-by-side with an intentionally positive mindset and gratitude on the battlefield of health and health care (more on that in our next post). I wondered, would his outcomes have been different had he held onto pessimism, anger and blame? I don’t know. But that got me curious about a few things:
- How our habits and responses are affected by and influence our mindset.
- How our mindset contributes to our perceptions and experiences.
- How we can be in the fog of a limiting mindset and not realize it.
- How our tiniest decisions about what we think, feel and act in the moment affect what we do, learn, experience, and achieve in the long run.
So I asked Google’s search engine to give me “recent 2018 articles on mindset”. Just 0.45 seconds later I had the results: ~84.3 million. Just what were people asking and reading about mindset?
Everything, it seems. From the mindsets of today’s donors, growth mindsets, growth mindsets and fixed mindsets based on research, clarifications of the research findings (seems what was popularized was not the entire story), research on different mindsets and their impacts on our personal and professional achievements (including math proficiency), and thoughts on how our tribal mindsets can limit our ability to move forward from Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in his May 2018 commencement address for New York University (NYU),
“But for us to move forward, to keep moving and moving forward, we have to do it together — all together. Humanity has to fight our tribal mindset.” — Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau
Just then I felt the strong pull to go down the rabbit trail as I looked at a long list of great articles, research and opinion pieces about mindset. When I slowed down and paused for a moment, I became aware of what I was doing (still seeking the “perfect” piece of information or gem to share in this blog). I checked in and took notice of what I was experiencing. How was I feeling? Where was that sensation in my body? What was happening in my mind? Well, with this increased awareness and focus on energy, I recognized I was: feeling increasing urgency from an approaching deadline (chest), competing with other commitments that were time specific (also urgency and needing to be prepared for those), and the internal dialog, drive and desire to work faster, have things perfect, and make sure the work matters. Yikes, talk about a heavy load to bear (plus increased cortisol and adrenaline) and a whole host of monkeys’ chattering away in my mind.
No wonder it looked more appealing to continue researching. But I didn’t. Bye, bye bunny trail, squirrels and shiny objects.
Rather than continue the push and forced expectations I’d put on myself, I took four steps that changed my mindset and ultimately my experience.
1. Take stock. Start where you are with what you have. I took a breath, stepped into a different physical space for a few minutes (in this case, away from my computer and into the outdoors), and took stock of what I already knew or could easily access. I reflected on the wide array of training, research results, lessons learned during podcasts, from books and time with mentors and clients. I realized I had enough to begin. I could do more research as I needed it for a specific purpose.
2. Slow down and notice. This step dovetails with the first. Once I’d stepped away from what I was doing and quit trying to apply more effort to the “problem,” it was easier to check in with my body. I could hear how my mind was racing, its distractions pulling me off track. I recognized how shallow my breathing had become. Much more like a “fight or flight” response and definitely not the best for creative or curious work.
3. Choose consciously. This sounds simple. It’s not. In quick succession I ask and answer these questions (yes, in the third person) and then I choose my first, next step. It always requires some sort of mind shift on my part (if it didn’t, I would not have reached this step).
- What do you REALLY WANT in this situation? No REALLY…
- What are your apparent options? What else?
- How do you want to feel? Will your “best options” get you there?
- What are you resisting (fear, avoidance, success, vulnerability and so on)?
- What will you do to move forward in this moment?
Sometimes I have to repeat this step. The more reflexive my thoughts or reactions to a situation are, or the more stressful or emotional the situation is, the harder getting a choice to “stick” can be. But, it’s definitely doable.
4. Reflect. Not every choice will get you the result you want in the moment. It takes practice and paying attention to when your choices yielded what you’d hoped. Reflecting on both the situation and how you handled it lets you trust yourself and your choices when you face future challenges. We learn from things that work out and those that don’t. It’s all information. Take time to reflect and apply what you learn.
Next time you feel your mindset isn’t where it needs to be to provide you with the experiences you want, try walking through the four steps above. Even if you don’t get a crystal clear picture of your true path, I can promise you, you will gain more clarity. Don’t let fear or hesitation hold you back from moving forward toward your passion. Seek a support network, do your research, find relevant resources and know that you can always find more encouragement and inspiration by reaching out directly. You’ve got this!
